Ham Tyler

Title: Who stole our Ham?

Players: Ham Tyler and Juliet Parrish

Location: Maxwell Ranch

Synopsis: Who Stole Ham and Replaced Him With an (almost) Nice Guy?


Ham Tyler is standing at one of the stalls, talking to a Horse. He seems to be talking more polite to the animal, than he does to most of the others of his own species. Strange Man, but Being in the CIA will do that to someone.

An excuse for everything, hmm? Having finished a ride herself, the clip-clopping of hooves on compacted dirt herald the arrival of Julie and her speckled mare.

Ham Tyler glances over at Julie, and nods, ever so slightly to her. In his patented smirk, he lifts a hand to his eyebrow, mock salute fashion, "Evening Doc. Enjoy your ride?" His voice carries little inflection, maybe a hint of true curiosity.

Perfect, just who she needed to see. No, really. Honest! "Was fine, thanks," Julie returns, her initial mild surprise at being greeted by Ham passing quickly. "Looks like you've finally made a friend…" She nods towards the horse the former CIA agent was cooing at.

Ham Tyler nods, "Animals and I get along. They don't require watching how you speak to them…." He shrugs, "And I can call them all sorts of bad names if they do things wrong, and as long as I say it nicely, they never know they are in trouble."

"Until one day they get fed up with you thinking they're dumb beasts, and one kicks you in the head," Julie responds sweetly, turning to reach a hand up to stroke the cheek of her mount.

Soft chuckles are coming from behind tightly closed lips of the 'Fixer'. Ham shakes his head, "You do know, that I am not always the Cold, calculating Son of a Bitch you all like to think I am." He grins, an actual scary sight if ever there was one, "I really do like Animals. Horses, Dogs… Well, mainly just them. Why? Before you ask…. Because, nothing is as loyal as your dog or Horse, and no animal is more useful for sniffing out the Lizards than a Horse." The Horse Ham is by, is of course, an all Black Gelding. Matches his Leather Jacket, and most of the time, his mood.

"Well," Julie responds, moving the mare back into her home stall, "Any man who likes dogs and horses, and who isn't bitten or kicked, can't be all bad." Continuing to stroke the mare's jowls, she begins to unhook the bridle.

Ham Tyler just inclines his head a bit. He glances slyly at Julie, and asks, "Found any good information on Bates' Weapon Shipments?"

Juliet Parrish shoots a 'look' over in Ham's direction. "Hate being out of the loop, don't you?" she returns, not answering the question, not even coming close. "You know, since you love animals so much, I think it'd be a good thing for you to unsaddle my horse and give her a rub down."

Ham Tyler frowns slightly, "And here I thought you had better etiquette than that, Doc…" He shrugs, "Besides, your Horse and I haven't been introduced."

"I just figurd it might do your personality a bit of good," Julie returns with a smirk of her own, moving to set the bridle over the stall wall.

Ham Tyler shrugs quite effectively, "My personality isn't the problem. It is all the goody-goodies around here that have the problem. You people have to learn that be smiling, and making Nice," Which, as a note, the Resistance DOESN'T do, Ham just thinks it, "with Bates and Diana is not how to win the war."

Juliet Parrish snorts softly. "YOu know damned well we don't make nice with Bates and Diana…" She pauses. "Ok, maybe I do smile and play nice with Bates, but I do it for a damned good reason. You know that."

Ham Tyler grins, a little twisted, or maybe evil, grin. "I'm sure Donovan will be glad to know how nice you 'play with' Bates." Yes, he's rude, Crude, and loving it.

Juliet Parrish pauses, and turns, glaring at Hame. "Stop it." she snaps, eyes flashing. "I don't do anything more than smile, laugh at his stupid jokes…that's it. Don't be such an ass, Ham."

Ham Tyler nods slightly, "Sorry Doc… but you know you left yourself wide open to that." He shrugs, "But yes, I know you love Gooder too much."

"I left myself wide open to nothing," Julie mutters, spending another moment glaring at Ham before she turns back to focus on her mare. Need to get her unsaddled and brushed down.

Score one for the Fixer. He turns to the horse he was talking to earlier and mumbles something about "Doc" and "A little peeved".

Juliet Parrish simply rolls her eyes, and with a sigh, pulls the saddle from her horses' back, moving to toss it across the stall wall as well. "Ham," she calls.

Ham Tyler glances over at Julie, "Yeah Doc? Need some help with something?" He remembers her hip sometimes acts up, and although he does have a bad attitude, it is a battle wound he respects, so would be helpful, if that is the problem.

And riding isn't exactly something that soothes the hips, after all. "Can you grab me one of the terry combs?" she calls, pulling the blanket off after the saddle.

Ham Tyler nods slightly, and pushes himself away from the stall he was leaning on. He moves to the central part of the stable, where the horse cleaning stuff is kept. He grabs a comb, plus a couple other things, to check the horses feet. He moves over, and says, "You do the rub down, I'll check her feet. make sure you didn't pick up any rocks along the way… Plus it might be time for some new shoes…."

Juliet Parrish blinks, arching an eyebrow over at Ham. Is he being…-nice-? Without saying a word, merely nodding her thanks, she takes the brush, and moves to begin brushing down the mare. It wasn't a hard ride, but that doesn't matter.

Ham Tyler crouches down, and slowly runs his hands along the horses right, rear, leg. Tapping the calf, which causes the mare to lift that leg, he uses the pick to get out all the muck, and check for any bad spots. "Hmm… We need to see if Heather or Elizabeth know of any farriers, or know how to shoe horses themselves. Looks like she could use a new shoe back here, and if this one is worn out, might need all new Shoes." Yes, Ham can be nice… even if most of the time he is a little surly.

Juliet Parrish mmm's softly, nodding. She wishes she could take care of this all herself, but it's tough to bend down. She really should give up riding… "Can you take care of that this week while I'm gone?"

Ham Tyler nods, "I'll talk to them, and see if they know one. Barring that, I'll see if I can find one. Probably should have all the horses checked." He moves to the right front, repeating the process, "Yeah, that is two bad shoes…"

Juliet Parrish sighs softly, shaking her head. "I -should- be able to do that myself," she mutters, continuing to give the horse a really nice, thorough rub down.

Ham Tyler shrugs slightly, standing up, and moving around to the other side, going behind the horse, so as not to startle the mare. He checks the left rear foot, and frowns, "This one is fine… Has she been favoring her right side at all?"

Juliet Parrish shakes her head slightly, moving around the horse. "Not that I've noticed…" The horse may not be, but Julie seems to be favoring one side…though she tries to hide it. Stubborn woman.


Ham Tyler notices the limp, but knows the Doc is a stubborn gal, almost stubborn enough to outlast him in a contest of wills. He hmms softly, "Could be a newer shoe, too…" He moves to the front Left leg, and checks it, "This one is bad too…" He nods, "Either the gal ain't putting much pressure on her left rear foot, or it is a much newer shoeing…."

"No way to tell?" Juliet wonders, not really knowing that much about horse shoes, other than you're supposed to hang them up with the opening facing up on the wall.

Ham Tyler nods, "Well, pulling a nail, and checking the coloration of the hoof… but while I like Horses, I am not equestrian expert…"

Juliet Parrish chuckles faintly, nearly finished with the brushing down now. "Let's find someone who won't accidentally maim the poor creature."

Ham Tyler nods, "Well, I heard Heather grew up on a ranch, and as this *is* the Maxwell ranch, Elizabeth should know something. I'll have one of them check on her for you…." He pauses, "Should I run in and get your cane? I know you don't want to admit it, but your limp is back."

Juliet Parrish shakes her head, stubbornly, as she takes a final stroke with the brush. "It's fine, I'm fine. It's hardly noticeable today." she snaps, before closing her eyes and sighing softly. "Thank you, though."

Ham Tyler nods slightly, making a mental note to make sure Gooder stashes the cane in Julie's Car. Nice White Beamer she got with her signing bonus to Science Frontiers. He shrugs, "Sure Doc… If that is what you want, I'll stay out of the way."

Juliet Parrish shakes her head, not wanting to chase this 'nice' Ham away too quickly. "It's fine, I shouldn't have snapped. Just…don't tell anyone my hip is bothering me." She moves to toss the brush off to the side next to the stool that sits in the stall.

Ham Tyler frowns, "Well, I assume Gooder knows… but I won't tell anyone else. You just take more hot baths. Deal?"

Juliet Parrish chuckles faintly, extending her hand. "Deal." she agrees, glad Ham didn't try and suggest she not go riding any more.

Ham Tyler takes the hand and shakes it quickly. He says, "I *will* be checking with Gooder… Can't have one of our better shots go down, if we have any raids…"

Juliet Parrish snorts quietly, shaking her head. "What makes you think I listen to him anymore than I listen to you?"

Ham Tyler shrugs, a trace of a smile playing with his lips. "Nothing… but he is likely to just carry you into the bathroom, and *make* you take a hot bath."

"He'd -try-," Juliet returns, smirking as she moves back to lean against the stall. Her hand drops unconsciously to her hip, fingers massaging the area gently.

Ham Tyler shakes his head slightly, "Yeah…" He lets it drop at that, vocally, although, he can imagine what is going to happen, AFTER he talks to Donovan… Donovan is enough of a whupped boy to work real hard to make Julie feel better.

Awww, come on…Ham would too, if she were 'with' him. Smiling faintly, Julie sighs softly. "How've things been here while I've been gone, Ham? You're about the only one who won't sugar-coat anything…"

Ham Tyler shrugs, "Well, with Mike getting his son back, as you know, and only Sean being hurt in that fight… And with all the other good luck we have been having, things are going one hell of a lot better than I would expect…. Although, we both know that won't last. Sooner or later, the Lizards will get their shit together, and we will be in trouble, in the short term."

Juliet Parrish inclines her head at that assessment, nodding slowly. "Hopefully I can get enough advanced warning to stop that." she mutters, her hand moving from her hip now to her forehead and temple.

Ham Tyler shrugs, "Only if Diana shares her attack plans with Bates… That is a combination I find scary. Bates had a good idea, even if it is flawed…" Not to mention, anything dealing with Bates is flawed, coming from the man that tried to kill Bates, from which, Julie was Bate's savior, although Julie doesn't*know* Ham was the lone assassian up in the lights, "… But because of Diana, her insanity, or ruthlessness, or just plain evilness, the treaty is going to fail, once she can find an exploitable weakness."

Juliet Parrish sighs heavily, nodding once again, blond curls shifting around her face. "I know, Ham. I know, and all I can hope is that we're ready in time, that doing what I'm doing will -help- us be ready in time." She doesn't even want to think about the possibility of what it would mean if they weren't.

Ham Tyler nods, "It does… I just raided one of Bate's warehouses last night, the one you said had all the Visitor Powerpacks. Got away with enough to keep our Laser Weapons supplied for the next few weeks. Wouldn't have done it without you. Even if I haven't said it before, I am glad you are on our side…"

Now that was unexpected. "No, actually, you've made it clear before you trust me even less for what I do." Juliet points out, rather than simply taking the comment at face value. "This seems a change…unexpected."

Ham Tyler shrugs, "I don't like Bates. I don't TRUST Bates. If any of that has rubbed off on you, I apologize. I know I was wrong in my judgment of you, back in the first war, but I do hope you know *why* I had to be that way. Now? Hell, you took shots at Diana, that shows me I was wrong. I won't admit to saying that in front of anyone else though" That last is added hurriedly, almost as a self defense Afterthought.

Juliet Parrish can't help herself, she smiles. "Ham…you're one of a kind." A momentary pause, and she hastily adds, "Thank God."

Ham Tyler grins, "They broke the mold after I came out."

"We're all still celebrating that one." Juliet promises Ham, before pushing up from the wall. "I think…" she muses, "That I'm going to go have one of those hot baths now…"

Ham Tyler nods, "Good… Add some Epsom salt…" Ham is an old-fashioned kinda guy. What was good 20 years ago, still is.

Juliet Parrish arches an eyebrow, smirking faintly. "Want to make yourself useful and just go run it for me?"

Ham Tyler rolls his eyes, "And have Gooder ask why I am in your bathroom, when my room has a Bathroom attached? I think not."

Was worth a shot! "Coward," Julie shoots back, surprised at how easily this friendly banter is coming with this man who she seems to do nothing other than fight with.

Ham Tyler shrugs, "The last time him and I went a few rounds, we ended up having a huge repair bill from some guys truck…" He shrugs, "I'd prefer not to bring down the Ranch House… It is a good Base of Operations."

Juliet Parrish reaches out a hand to pat Ham's arm lightly. "I was teasing," she assures him before stepping towards, and out, the stall gate, her limp slightly worse, stiffening up no doubt. "You two need to work out something, you know? I think if you stopped butting heads for five minutes, you might actually work well together.

Ham Tyler smirks, "A Possibility… but he is as stubborn as you are…" He shrugs, and lets it drop. "Take it slow and easy, Doc."

Juliet Parrish nods over her shoulder, then pauses for one moment. She knows she shouldn't ask, but…"What brought this on, anyways? This…friendliness. It's nice."

Ham Tyler shrugs slightly, "No clue Doc… Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf, or maybe, I got tired of always fighting with people to get a job done."

Juliet Parrish smiles faintly, shrugging rather like he just did. "Whatever it was…it's nice. Keep it up." she encourages before she's off, like the wind…okay, maybe more like a wounded dog, but hey!